Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Busy being 26

For the two people wondering where I've been, I've been off trying to figure out being 26. Turns out, it's not so different from being 25.

Yea, 26 is very uneventful. Spoke to someone who'd already been 26, she said the same thing. She also said 27 would be more interesting, and 28. Somehow I figure 29 will just be torture as I wait for the year to pass.

So here's something I wrote on my surprisingly rarely used moleskine while sitting and sipping on some coffee...

I'm 26 years old. Unemployed and single.

I'm 26 years old. And trying very hard to not look back and regret all the bad decisions I've made. But instead look at those mistakes as things I had to learn. What else are mistakes for?

As far as my career goes, I know I jumped into too many things too soon. I never thought that someone would lie to me about the state of their company, even though right now it seems too naive to think like that. I know a litter better right now what it is that I want from a job. I know money's very important, at least to the extent that it provides me the comforts that I want in life. I know I just need a job that, if I don't particularly like what it is I do, I shouldn't be asked to invest too much in, mentally or physically. And if I love what I do, I will throw everything I have in. Gamble it all.

As far as love goes, I know I can be a very selfish lover. And a very unsure one. I need to learn how to give more. And open up more. I keep myself so closed with everyone else I know that I do the same with my love too. I know I do these things wrong, but I can't say I've learned to do otherwise, or changed my ways, because I haven't gotten the chance to put into practice all that I've preached to myself. When I get the chance, and I hope I do, I'll know if I've really changed.

I've learned to open myself up more to my friends. I'm happy I've accomplished that much. It takes me less time to start talking to people now. So I'm glad I've changed a little in these past two years.

I know I've still got a long way to go. And a lot more to learn.

So for all of those things that I don't know, I know a little too. 

: )

5 comments:

Gauri Gharpure said...

good to hear from you..

I have been thinking somewhat like you. somehow, the past year always sounds more appealing than the next. sometimes i want to stuff my 24th year to the brim and more, for 25 sounds too bad. :)

hope 26 begins to sound and feel good along the way. till then, you can keep filling up this place more often..

Gaurav Bhardwaj said...

Hey..Really nice post! First of all, congrats on turning 26...Secondly, i could so relate to not opening up to others bit....I always do that, i don't know if its good or bad....but thats the way it is...anyways, hope you have an amazing year at 26!...and keep writing!

Mystique said...

26. hmm. learn from everything.


hi.

void said...

Gauri, thanks. And I plan to.

Gaurav, thanks for the wishes. From my experience, the friends don't mind it as much as the girlfriends. Though, it helps to do so in both cases.

Mystique, uhuh. And hi yourself.

phantasmagoria said...

I think you know a lot if you know what you don't know.
I am trying to figure out so many things. At least you don't have those contradictions in you. =)