And I quote...

Joy and sorrow are not like oil and water; they co-exist.

- Jose Saramago?

I made it myself!

So there's this guy. He meets this girl and realises that she has a cold ALL the time. He is pained by this, and hates the fact that she's always in discomfort. So he cures her cold. And they both fall in love with each other.

What's this movie called?

Vicks Vaporub Ne Bana Di Jodi.

*laughs hysterically*

Sitting At Home

For the past couple of weeks, I've been at home. Sitting. Walking around. Doing nothing. Not even thinking.

Too bored to post, write, play guitar, photograph or think.

A little depressed. Or sad.

Unemployment does that, I've been told.

So maybe it's that.

Sigh.

HATE HATE.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No, you're not. This is happening. This is happening right now, in my city. And I hate it.

For all the love and all the shit that my city doles out, for all the lives it has given, and even the ones it's taken away, this is still my city. And I HATE it.

Yea, it happens every day somewhere in the world, and today it's happening here. And I HATE IT.

Fucking terrorists. Possibly from this very country. This violent behaviour is never going to end, is it? This has happened, someone will retaliate. And this will happen again, somewhere else. My optimistic view of our future is beginning to wane.

Any bets for how long we'll last? Because I know this hate (and all the hate around the world) is never going to die. As long as there are people who have, and those who have not, there will be hate. As long as there is no thought given by those who have for those who have not, there will be hate. As long as we continue to leave love out of the equation, this will happen.

So tell me this: How long will we last?

Can we all agree, before we kill each other, that we hate hate?

For the kid with the ice cream.

What's that?
You're fat.
Don't eat.
You sweat.
You reek.
You stink,
of meat.
And smoke.
Stop that,
you're fat.

You're bald.
You're hairy.
You're tall.
You're short
Too thin,
suck it in.
What's that?
You're fat.

You're too happy,
too sad,
too sane,
too mad.
Too worried,
too carefree.
Too like you,
unlike me.
What's that?
You're fat.

You curse
too much
eat
too much
sleep
too much
lie
too much
naive
too much
whine
too much
Where's your spine?
Look at mine!
What's that?
You're fat.

You disgust me.

Yea,
but,
I don't disgust me.

That's how it is.

I've said it more than just a few times in the last couple of months, and it worries me that I take it for granted that "that's just how it is".

The more I say it, the more I believe it. You can try and convince me otherwise, but I think you'll have a hard time. Things have become what they've become and change has gained its own momentum, so much so that our actions have little or no impact on what happens in this world. Our individualism has divided us. We all have different thoughts, perceptions and, more impactfully, different ideals and morals. What's good for the goose, the gander doesn't think much of. We're sheep if you look at how gullible we've become, following shepherds around all day just because they're on TV. But we're sheep with ideas of our own. It's a little contradictory, I know, but it's true.

Our individualism has impacted our world and led us to believe that we all know what's good for each of us. Still, we'll believe most of what we're told about other people, and have more than enough advice to hand out to other people. How's that for a contradiction? Why this individualism scares me is because we're still not governed by a society that values individualism. Our society believes in our belonging to a collective mindset. We've made little to no effort to change how our society is run, but made every effort to proclaim from the rooftops that we are individuals.

So we are individuals. Standing individually, and consumed by our individuality. I am one. I accept that.

So who makes decisions? People sitting behind important desks in important offices who seem to know very little about who we are, but a lot about who they want us to be. They reside within bureaucracy and rarely take the time to come out and look at the real world.

If they're the ones with the pens that sign the papers that tell us how to live our lives, then what chance do we have of "being the change"? Everybody argues that you need to go become a politician if you hate all the politicians you're being forced to vote for. But what if you don't want to enter politics? What do you do then? Con someone else into becoming a politician? Meh.

Then what are we left with when we accept that we're never going to enter politics and refuse to vote for anyone/end up voting for the guy who's closest to getting us where we want to be? We're left with things being a particular way and us having nothing to do to change the way things are. So we say, "That's how it is."

Tell me there's something I'm missing.

Please.

(Post started: above; post completed: November 5th)

What would the Marlboro Man do?

I know it's a horrible habit. I know I need to quit. But the only reason I smoke is because of the incredible calm I feel sometimes, while dangling that lit cigarette between my fingers. Yes, mostly it's gratuitous, but there are times. Like phish describes in ashtray. 

Sometimes...

I like smoke. 

I like the feeling of breathing something different. 

It's bad for me, but I don't care. 

Peace of mind feels purer than healthy lungs.

What they're taking away is my coffee+cigarette, my beer+cigarette, my whisky+cigarette. What they're taking away is my right to choose. I understand it's bad for me. My health is not a priority. If it were, I wouldn't even be living in this city. Or working here. Or eating out because I don't have anything close to a kitchen in my rented apartment.

I don't smoke around kids or pregnant women. I don't smoke around my friends when they're sick, well, I try to not.

I don't litter any part of the cigarette or the pack, except the ash. If I have an empty cigarette pack, I don't even drop the ash. I haven't dropped cigarette butts on the street in about three years. I haven't littered anything in longer.

I'm not looking for a 'thank you for not littering', I'm just saying I'm aware of everything I do. Hell, if I had the option I wouldn't blow the smoke into the air. I don't like the fact that I pollute the air, but I can't really do much about that right now.

I'll quit smoking. 

Eventually. 

I know that for a fact. But I don't like being told what to do, and what not to do. I like making up my own mind. That's all.

I can't even hate the guy who's responsible for this ban. The other thing he's reportedly working on is legalising homosexuality. Which I stand for. 

Again, my city is alienating me.

I felt that when I thought they were doing away with big English lettering on shops and restaurants, but I think they were only fighting for similar-sized lettering in Devnagari (have I spelt it right?). That's fine by me. But smaller English lettering would make it tedious for me to decipher.

But I digress. This is about the ban on smoking in "public places" in "Mumbai", and, well, the rest of the country. Yup, I can't smoke in pubs, coffee shops, restaurants, parks, my office balcony, or any similar places.

So where does that leave me, and every other smoker in this country? On the road. Ostracised.