This effort to move is proving to be quite the effort. My fault for assuming this would be easy. My fault for assuming that life would cut me a break. I'm not bitter, though I know I sound the part. I'm just a little peeved I suppose. At myself. Never assume. When you assume...
Thing is, I know life handed me lemons. And I've made some lemonade. But so far, nobody's buying any. Makes me wonder if the lemons were overripe or green and I was too late, or too early. Then again, I might just suck at making lemonade.
This mystery I'm solving, this life, I keep getting clues along the way. I think my recent trip to Bangalore (Bang-galore, but not this time around) was just that I might finish reading No Country For Old Men. For a lesson in the futility of leaving the past behind. It's who I am, up until this point, up until right now. If I leave it behind, what am I left with?
Exactly.
So while I was trying, desperately, to find a job in Bangalore and leave my (very recently, quite jingoistic) city of birth behind, someGodsomepowersomeonesomething made sure I understood I'd never be able to leave my past behind. I understand. This is who I've got; this is who I'll be through to the end. Damn right.
3 comments:
I’m with you on THAT checklist: nothing’s easy, never assume, read everything about lemons you can get your hands on, take note of any clues you get because you will be tested…and the biggie: everywhere you go, there you are. I hated that realization. Of course anything’s a shock when it’s 180 degrees from your expectations… And my expectations were high on the side of…well, put it this way: if I were a house, I’d have gutted it and remodeled the whole thing…in one day…which led to the next realization… So now it’s welcome to “This Old House” where the current home improvement project, in between sulking, is staying off the bandwagon of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, high or low, until I’ve stepped back a pace to take a better look. It’s a pain in the ass, which brings me full circle to what I get when I ass-u-me. ;-)
I love that... "Everywhere you go, there you are."
baggage-- the more u try getting rid of it, the heavier it becomes... you will move when you take it along like a goodfornothing old friend. I will be missing on the blog for a while.. till 27th to be precise.. :) thnks for dropping by all the same
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